I’m living with someone who has Alzheimer’s. He is not walking around with his underpants on his head, nor ranging about outside in his pyjamas, but life as a pair of independent people is out now. I find the chatter going on in my mind about what is happening almost more wearing than taking over at home. I do wonder about attending occasional meetings of groups of carers in the area in which we live, but that is going into the realms of becoming an ‘Alzheimer’s couple’. I am reluctant to do that as I feel it will start to define our remaining years together, whereas now we can just about maintain the way of life that was what we had created together before, and liked.

We are lucky (after earning well in the past) to live in a lovely cottage with a big garden. All of it could do with refurbishing, and my dear partner was the driving force in doing so when we first moved in. Having taken over the reins, I’ve spent some of our capital on redoing bits of our garden. I tell myself that it’s for us both. Today I realise that this is probably not true. I am feeling resentful towards him at how much I do now to keep things going. Entirely irrational as he is in a diferent world now.

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